Putting Things to Rights
An interesting thing about darkness is how completely it disappears when some light is shed upon it. This is what has happened to my sadness. It seems all it took was to share my angsty frustration with the anonymous world for it to run in the other direction.
Other things have helped... Spring is here and is pretending to be summer. I took a nap face down in the lawn today! I wrestled some weeds out of the ground too... it wasn't all laziness. And I've taken on the large and satisfying project of putting things to rights in my world. This is a hard thing to explain... bear with me.
It started with my grandmother's silverware; a set I inherited and always loved but there were missing pieces and so it rarely got used. I finally clued in that eBay might be a good place for sourcing the missing bits and now something that felt regretfully under cared for is finally being used and appreciated. My grandmother would be pleased.
I also had a lovely old necklace that was my great grandmother's repaired. While at the jewellers I lamented that I only had one matching earring as the other had been lost long before I arrived in this world. They helpfully set up an appointment for me to meet someone who could do custom work and my little earring is now having a new partner created. My great-grandmother would be pleased.
These little resolutions have been easy enough, but there's a gap in my life that has been not easy to fill. There is nothing I can buy to solve this one, well... other than studio time. For a long time I've thought my second album was going to be my last one. This idea caused my Dad a great deal of sadness. I struggled with so much self doubt after the last release and just wanted to hide behind a 'normal' life but his belief in me never wavered.
Finally the writer's block has lifted... there are new songs. I've booked a Juno award winning producer. It may take me a while to get album number three together, but it is in the works. I heard myself played on the radio today...
My Dad would be pleased.